How do I say "sorry I gave you and your sister herpes" in German?
how was your day?
fuck the small talk. are you bringing the liquor tonight or am i?
Last night I ate parmesan cheese straight out of the container while watching Chelsea Lately. Look at what happens to me when you leave.
just realized we made a drinking game to how many times they say "hakuna matata" in the lion king last night... hello sophomore year.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
he kept saying "mind over matter" as he fucked me
Just hooked up on shake weight girl's dad's porsche. What are YOU doing with your life?
I cant believe she fell for the mistletoe belt AGAIN.
And your cousins porn shouldn't have been the first straight porn you watched. And for that I am sorry
I ate all his french fries. He was no longer useful to me.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Find me a cup with a lid so I can illegally drink in your car. I'll be there in bout 10 minutes.
If I learned anything from that one time I saw the last 10 minutes of oprah when they talked about the secret, it is that you project what you receive back. I also have wine.
I'm pretty sure I just smoked a chunk of cat food. Thought it was something else. No reply needed.
I just spontaneously learned how to embroider at three in the morning.
I also almost burned the house down in the process. Don't ask me how. It's a long story.
I noticed it at one point and thought do I really wanna bang the guy with the phone holster .....of course I do
I know I drink too much cuz "ssssjllapph peneinssesss" automatically comes up in my phone now.
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