I'm drive I can fine osifer
I just worked out and used handles of vodka as weights. Whoever said alcoholism is detrimental to you health obviously has no fucking idea.
RIP Summer 2010. God knows it had to be one of us..
Why did I think it was so necessary to steal that rolling pin?
Don't blame me for eating all the ham.. I gave it out to people, so at most I'm guilty of ham distribution
It was pretty bad. Like cum-on-my-face-while-singing-Let-It-Snow bad.
Well... When your girlfriend fucks your sister, the 2 week courtesy window goes out the door.
How do I tell your little brother I lost my virginity wearing nothing but his socks?
Formal letter or email.
And everyone was looking at me because it was cold and I was drunk and may have screamed "oh fuck" ... You know what, fuck that. What do people think they're getting at Denny's 2 in the morning
I just shit my bed. Go ahead and make your 40 year old incontinence jokes now.
He turned down head in favor of a handjob. Not sure if he's crazy or i have magic hands
IF YOU HAVE THE CHANCE TO HIT THAT, AND YOU DON'T, I WILL FUCKING CRUCIFY YOU.
You're such a supportive sister.
Let's be real, he was never going to be tall enough
You’re welcome stay at my house. But, you gotta piss in the toilet
Fuck this pandemic. She grabbed the hand sanitizer instead of the hand lotion while giving me a hand job and now my dick is burning and scrotum are on fire
A hand job? Are you 12?
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