i cant decide if i should go fuck j*** or keep watching real genius
1 stripper is 160/hr. 2 strippers is 280/hr. it would be fiscaly irresponsible to only get one.
My mom just told me to drench my entire body in vodka for 20 minutes. I have never been this russian. no one has ever been this russian
He had a huge mole on his dick. Genetics has cockblocked him for life.
It doesn't matter if I tell the story beginning to end or end to beginning, the story still starts with a random girl blowing me in the bathroom.
you literally pushed me forward in the seat so you could puke behind my back without the cabbie noticing..
Got head last night. Had the 3D glasses on the whole time.
I want morning sex. We can incorporate maple syrup into it somehow, it'll be fun
For new year's, we should just keep our resolution simple and keep accomplishing burpees in heels.... while drunk.
I still blew him because I won't let allergies keep me from doing what I want. But I almost suffocated like 10 times.
I spanked her so hard I woke up Grandma
I'm pretty sure my therapist gave me the green light to fuck him.
So is he the one who got away?
They all got away. I’m a catch and release kind of girl.
Rationing the toilet paper. Only one wipe allowed. I'm scared to move too much.
He ate me out on a washing machine in the 24 hour laundromat. Whoever watches that security camera footage is getting a show!
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