that's an acceptable place to lick
This is why I'm not putting my name in lights over your bed.
even after i explained my bobby knight costume the bartender still kicked me out for throwing the chair
oh fat girl friday strikes again...
who knew that a girl that let me piss on her within 20 minutes of meeting her would get upset i couldn't remember her name.
The cab driver doesn't know where we can find an empire state building shaped dildo either!? What is wrong with NYC!?
I think I'm just going to up-end a bottle of wine and look through pictures of what my life used to be.
What about.....a game of twister and....wait..nevermind. I've hit my cap for sexualizing things today.
She's dipping the chocolate graham crackers in marshmallow vodka for a 'campfire taste'
I'm pretty sure the bus driver knew how hung over I was and hit all the pot holes on purpose. I threw up into my water bottle.
we somehow managed to fit a llama, a stripper pole and a hayride all into the same day.
Apparently my face was in the trashcan and in between throw ups I was screaming LOS DIABLOS. I woke up this morning with a bird flying around my room. Nobody seems as concerned as I am.
I’m literally watching say yes to the dress, eating fancy cheeses with crackers, and I have orange dark chocolates. All of which is being washed down with merlot. And I’m 100% sure a porno is gonna go down next door tonight. They don’t have a car and arrived via taxi. Happy holidays from motel 6 Pendleton Oregon!
My neck feel like I've been sucking Goliath's dick.
she was sitting with her tits completely out.. on the kitchen floor..eating pickles by the handful... rapping mac dre... and then lit up a cig and continued...that drunk
Randomize
