I'm not conventionally pretty...I'm just crazy
Baby momma caught me doing baby daddy in reverse cowgirl. She kicked me out and i have no clothes, come get me.
I hope you walked the shit out of that shame.
look to my right... shes dancing like she's playing dance dance revolution and her character is a retarded, drunken moose
I got fingered by sexual harassment panda last night, by a van, I can't remember if he took off his furry panda hands...
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Hemmingway ran to paris to avoid going to the university of illinois and becoming a doctor. It was there he developed a drinking problem. I need a plane ticket.
Let's just say for some reason we thought it was okay to make a burrito smoothie.
At least he's not married... I hate Halloween hookups
I left my Thanksgiving family dinner puking in my hands from the worst hangover in the world
i think he drugged the pie. i'll get back to you on that later.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Idgaf if he's a manwhore, he's like the mt. everest of penises. howcan I NOT try to put that inside me?
I remember nothing except the fact it happened and I ate doritos and we highfived a lot
Last time we had an ultimatum like that, things went very far south. I'm down, but it's your turn to wake up in a hospital.
Where are you? We're in between the guy dressed as a giant inflatable penis and the Justin Bieber lookalike lesbians
Does the penis have a genital wart?
He sat next to me, put his arm around me, yelled at his girlfriend that he was breaking up with her, and told me I'm his little pet for the night.
Wait. How did I get engaged last night?
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