I just jerked it so loud the neighbor banged on their floor. maybe my wife got the point
He came to my house drunk at two a.m., got in the hot tub, refused to get out until he smoked a blunt, and said "That's what brothers and sisters are for."
ok perfect im about to bedazzle our mini keg named hans. he is ready to rage
The goal for tonight is vagina. In and around. Doesn't matter who. How. Or why.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I just want a sensitive guy who will get drunk with me then take me out to steal things. Is that too much to ask?
I'm not entirely sure that the guy that just texted me is not on drugs right now. I'm also not entirely sure that he isn't about to be incarcerated.
why isn't there a kind of gay where i let guys give me head but they don't expect me to give it back? i could be that kind of gay
He was that good?
So my mom wants to hear about my weekend. How do I make licking cupcake frosting off your face while high not sound like just that?
Our prom king just sent me a dick pic. I know it's 10 years later but I feel like I've finally made it.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
In theory, it seemed like it would work.
See I am maturing. I just got in from my DRIVE of shame......
Btw, how did you break into my room, and why did you decide that covering the mushrooms with a blanket was more secure than a lock on my door?
Question: anytime during the past week did I drunk dial you and give you full permission to grab my boobs? Cus I know I said it I just don't remember who I said it to...
sorry i was ignoring you last night i accidentally did a bunch of pcp and thought i was inside tron
besides the unzipped fly, the black eye and the toilet paper on your shoe you looked really sexy today baby!
Randomize