is swine flu sexually transmttd?
Ha no, why?
sriously ive never had a hangovr this bad
see... this is why i put birth control in all my friends drinks
wait.... you do what?
I couldn't get internet on my iPod in this hotel room for porn, so I made due with UFC.
I'm not sure what to say to that.
I didn't realize how hung over I was until I rolled over and the world rolled over with me.
this guy jus got head in a gas station bathroom from this fat chick with one leg
gross dude. was the guy blacked out drunk or something?
yeah and it only cost me 6 dollars
She stuck a Big Gulp bend-y straw up his ass to see if he could handle anal.
Ew, and?!
Well he couldn't and the deal was he had to drink something using it afterwards.
Today should be called shooting fish in a barrel day. Every place ive gone to ive met a girl who regrets not hooking up last night. There have not been girls this easy since Fathers Day
apparently it isn't appropriate to tell a coworker who is eating celery because it's "negative calories" that a blowjob is too
Jesus just hopped over the fence with a rack of coors. How's your Halloween?
Is there a reason there's a dick print on my seventh-story window?
You were asking her how her mother would feel if y'all dated, etc. And I was yelling at you your girlfriends name over and over again in between gags and sobs.
This morning confirmed it...there's no maybe about it. She definitely wasn't born with it. It was definitely the Maybelline.
oh and apparently my boobs are named "have no fear" and "plenty o'beer"
the next thing I knew, I was on the floor of a Tim Hortons bathroom in Canada.
After we fucked we sat in bed and watched Charlie St. Cloud and he fed me ice cream. It was probably the most romantic thing I've ever done.
Randomize
