you are hot. that is all.
who is this?
the delivery driver from silvermine.
They threw me out of the bar because I was arguing business ethics with the owner of th bar
She just did a myspace photoshoot with her baby
walmarts paint section shouldnt be open at 3am
What's a quick way to get over an ex-boyfriend? To hear about how he threw up in a cup and then drank it. That's how.
There is booty call etiquette, and he just isn't following it. I'm not making you breakfast, gtfo.
I'm like a number 27.2 on a scale of 1-10 of how badly I want you right now.
Your lack of a response brings it down to a 25.4.
The highlight of the night was when he yelled "WAS THIS CONDOM MADE FOR TODDLERS??"
Drunk enough that you donated $50 to taco bell, because they serve a great purpose.
If you need us, Zoe and I will be on my kitchen floor drinking Gatorade and crying
I asked to see his balls for medical purposes.
Well in other news, my nipples are healing pretty well but next time I get drunk and decide to pierce something please for the love of god stop me!
Sooooooo this guy just asked me if I'd be interested in a threesome... I'm considering bc I would get to hang out with his dog afterwards.
is it bad that there is a girl in my bed right now and the only thing i can think about is the fect that its after 3am which means i cant order jimmyjohns unitll tomorrow?
My hands smell like vagina and ham.
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