Please tell me its not ok to love a 17 year old....no matter how hot he is and how sexy his eyebrow ring is oh lord
Sooo, drunk me had the sense of mind to write down everything that happened last night.....I bet you thought you'd get away with what you did to my parrot.
There was a fucking SNAKE in the urinal. WHAT THE FUCK
they night at the roxbarryed us. came out of nowhere,bought us shots, and then the big one licked my hand? we got out of that noise.
You're probably reading this when you wake up from your "nap" in the front yard. Maybe next week you should go to class, and not start Thirsty Thursday at 9:30 in the morning.
Their engagement party consisted of them doing shots, yelling at each other, leaving for 30 minutes, and coming back with smiles.
I'd say they're off to a great start!
We dug deep emotionally while eating cereal
No more weed for you
Is there a polite way to say "Sorry for your head injury but I still want to hook up"?
Holy shit, did you actually CHOOSE to get hit by the alcohol truck last night?
he rolled over in the morning and told me happy valentines day. i don't even know his first name.
im bringing home some absinth and some holy water. one way or another things are going to get spiritual.
Im riding the bus with beer in one hand and chapagne in the other. I love weddings.
he came with me to get plan b but they didn't have any. when I started crying he said "come on it's not that bad.. ill go get sandwiches from the vending machine and we'll have our first meal together as a family"
Whose house did we sneak into and play beer pong for 4 hours at last night?
I honestly have no idea
Planning a vacation around my dog. I have become one of those dog moms.
Randomize
