According to Glamour magazine, experiencing sexual pleasure helps you live longer. I am dying an early death.
Man now I have poo on my blackberry!!!
brownberry?
i woke up at 5 am and found myself wrapped in christmas lights that were plugged into the wall.
it was like fucking with batman, he had gadgets i never even imagined
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
They just sang me a song about how small my dick is in front of the whole bar
I'm in the library if you wanna come give me library head.
You were peeing on yourself thinking it was the sprinkler in your yard
Worst hangover of my career vs the return of the blue balls. Will keep updated
Don't tell me wow. Tell me this is normal for college and in no way am I a whore.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I tried to show my boob for free volcano tacos at taco bell last night. Not boobs. Just boob. The manager wasn't allowing it.
What if our hands were octopus tentacles?
You're an idiot.
Last week in my political science paper I quoted the Mighty Ducks. This week, I compared the Constitution to a weird pickle law in Connecticut (by law, it's not a pickle unless it bounces). So, yeah, clearly I'm ready to be back to being a college student.
I forgot drug dealers have families, too. Cheers to a sober, uncomfortable, slightly enraging Thanksgiving.
Dude, if that was the MLB player I think it was leaving your bedroom this morning please tell me you got his autograph. It could pay the rent for like six months.
I refuse to go to a doctor for a sex injury, not when I've come so far already
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