sooo i think when i get back from rothbury i should probably take a pregnancy test
but you would be showing by now. i'd just save the money and wait for a large crap in 6 months that starts crying. then you'll know.
if i get the "i'm engaged" text one more time, i'm going to shoot myself in the face so my cats won't eat it when i die alone.
woke up with withdrawal cold sweats this morning. spring break must really be over.
He just found another high guy at wal-mart. There now friends. His friend is eating a cupcake
I hijacked a bellboy cart and rolled into the party dancing on it
All I remember is mattress sliding down the stairs while giving him a blow-job. Sorry you had to witness the incident.
I know it's pride week, but your asshole is just never supposed to taste like banana.
Found her. Shes unconscious up against the room door. Her credit card is in the keycard slot
We're trying to see who can drink the most and still be eligible to donate blood tomorrow.
Also, upon examining the photos, I have concluded that you were the sloppiest drunk girl of the night. And that's saying something considering Hurricane Jessica was in town.
Yeah I just don't know how I feel about my fuck buddy coming to work at my dads office with me.
Nothing like banging your nurse in the shower while staying in the hospital
I just got high and swiffered the bathroom floor....2 for 2 on brilliant life ideas
dude new orleans is fucking wild these two guys just performed dueling banjos except they were actually fighting with the banjos
Omfg 7 hour sex session who am I?
PS: I think I'm in love
Ability to walk tomorrow tbd
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