Why are you ignoring all of my texts?
The power was out.
i was trying to wake him up so i just kept touching his dick
I just deleted all the drug dealers from my phone, I guess this is growing up
Chris threw beer can at guy. Guy ended up being a fighter. Chris got his eye socket broke. Fighter got hand re-broke. Chris is passed out. Fighter is in kellys bed. everybody won last night. I think.
Really? And is this the kinda party we talked about earlier?
Yup. It's just me crying in a closet eating soup
We're not on Beacon Street anymore so now your argument about not peeing on the sidewalk holds no water. Whereas my bladder has holded every water.
to improve your porn experience, just imagine a slow speaking older English man narrating it all like a Nature documentary
And then we can spend New Year's Day sprawled across the tiles watching greys anatomy and puking into the bushes over the balcony. It'll be great
DC is easy, you will figure it out.
I'm drunk and blonde. You are wayyyy underestimating this.
My house smells like bleach. Also, I do not feel bad about all the stuff I stole from the hospital while I was there.
Fucking in bar bathrooms doesn't count as "rushing things"
he thought it would be funny to put his dick inside a beer bottle and wear it around. until we all realized how small his dick would have to be to fit in a beer bottle
drunk brunch me or lose me forever
How'd your Tinder date go?
Well, I met his girlfriend...
sitting in a shitty karaoke bar playing pokemon go and drinking a mimosa. how is your sunday night
Randomize
