Bea Arthur died! :(
What?
Big bird passed.
It's hard for me to sext him when the picture i see on my phone when he texts me is his facebook default of him and his girlfriend.
What's a nice way of saying "You fell asleep, and I got bored, so I made out with your brother"?
My dad just gifted me an alaskan flag he stole from the govenor's mansion. He said it was to hang on the wall at 3316, to start a morning ritual. Then he mimed kegstands and vomiting. Senior year will be epic.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Dude the animal human society told us we could get a dog when we came back sober. I cant wait.
You're on Grindr at the STD clinic. I love you.
I took shots of absinthe with my mom just now. Except awful things.
I blew him while watching the aristocats. There were singing cats in the background. I think he he hummed along at one point.
My fake id got more birthday sex than I've had in my life.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Duuuuuuuuuuck. and by that i mean fruuuuuuuuck. and by that i mean fuuuck
The best part of the night was you shouting "I have to take the LSAT tomorrow" between shots of fireball.
you got into a really intense arguement about protecting bees. it was wierdly arousing.
just had sex in the back of my high school auditorium #dreamcumtrue
The girls said some drunk guy in footie pajamas was asking for me when they opened the doors. I thought we agreed you were gonna stay home and microwave me some bacon.
so i just realized the reason you didn't answer my call last night is because the remote isn't a phone.
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