At best buy, little boy just crawled into my stall while i was taking a shit
Don't make me choose between a good grade and anal
i'm sitting pantsless eating potato chips and watching porn before he picks me up for our date. I hope he's ready for this...
Ended the weekend putting away 30 nuggets. Training for 100.
I saw you eating fruit and doing shots off people passed out
Hey we need to step our game up. Dad has us beat; he stole a vending machine once.
I cannot FaceTime with your penis
I have nothing to say for myself. When 2chainz comes on at the bar all bets are off.
If we had kids we couldn't come home, get high and watch porn together. And that's like the only reason I get up in the morning
They've taken all the lighthearted fun out of S&M.
We were wearing togas. So having sex was really easy to do without taking any clothes off.
Can now check off "Start bar fight with my dad." on my bucket list.
Yeah, he threw a chair and hit her in the side of the head. She started hysterically crying and then proceeded to continue kicking our ass at beerpong. The girls got talent.
After she got off the phone with her mom she sprinted down the block screaming "I'M SO GOOD AT BEING A HUMAN!!!!!!!!!!!!!"
i am not an asshole. i paid for her to take a cab home.
dude, we were in ann arbor. she's from cincinnati. ten bucks didn't even get her back on I-94. i maintain my position. you are indeed an asshole.
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