At least with the last gf I made it clear that I wanted to breakup when I pissed on her floor @ 3am as her roommate watched in contempt
im covered in puffy paint and glitter i cant find kevin and im wearing shoes that dont belong to me....come get me please
Im sitting alone watching titanic. Drunk. Without pants. Holding a fishing pole. Im pretty sure im okay with all of this.
In case any of you were wondering, kyle is alive. He also intends to do the same thing tommorow night and the night after.Goodnight everyone
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I think I'm about to have sex with a second person before noon hehehhe! You're welcome America.
I'm glad we're going to catch up. too bad it's over my vagina.
All I have done at work today is eat and try to get my coworker to tie me to his bed again
He drops f bombs like every other word and he just gave me 127 shares of tmobile stock for free. I feel like I should pay him back in blow jobs or something.
I'm sure there are thousands getting dick today in the name of independence
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Some dude just said my hair smells like his pillows
I walked in on him jerking it to videos of UFC fighters. The most awkward part: he didn't stop when I walked in.
I convinced her that there were two p's in Chipotle - the 2nd one was silent.
Okay I'm officially a Texan now, I banged a dude with cowboy boots
Whose panties are you wearing on your head and why are you sending me pics of it?
Do it!! We better have a duck by the time I get home.
Randomize