why did i wake up to an event notice that says "Shit Just Got Real"?
It really wasent that hard. The male one had a M and the woman one had a W. I just couldent comprehend that at the time.
no, no, no. omg. i said i wanted a SANDWICH! not a picture of your dick. damn cant you read? SANDWICH! now im blinded. great job.
he/she has shaved legs and makeup on. but a spare tire stomach, high socks with high heels...a wig and glasses. and still talked like a man. it was a nightmare scenario
Rain ponchos don't count as shirts at the bar. FYI.
So, we bought a knight today. Nearly life size. Hes in the garage, so don't be startled.
yo btw licking skeptical coke off table right now
Yea I saw a friend of yours carrying your limp body somewhere
Like if a baby's bottom had nipples, that's how my boobs feel
I'm a male taking pregnancy tests with every girl at the party. i have no regrets
this one kid was speed-mumbling about putting broccoli in the printer
I just realized that I have dated 5 unemployed guys...and 3 that drove pt cruisers...Turns out I do have a type.
I just had sex with the megalodon show on in the background and it was just as magical as it sounds
NO. FUCK YOU. I HOPE SOMEONE REPLACES YOUR LUBE WITH HOT SAUCE.
that's what I'm here for. I'm literally just bad advice mixed with motivational sentences.
Randomize
