you keep denying me to hang out, should i take a hint?
you keep asking me after midnight, should i take a hint?
He wanted a handjob during a John Wayne movie. I just couldn't find it in my heart to disrespect that man. John Wayne that is.
Which is scary since we both think with our vaginas
Hah, I lost the lenses in my glasses, didn't event notice til this morning... How was the meeting?
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On the one year anniversary of me loosing my virginity... thousands of people will be taking their pants of on subways all around the world
It's like a tribute to you being a slut
they call him the transporter because he'll be your designated driver in exchange for sufficient weed or sex.\n
what about money
no - he has a code he lives by
I was desperately holding on to my sandwich while we had sex.
She called me her guardian angel after I picked her phone up from the river of pee coming from her front porch.
i finally decided to cut him off after he he looked me dead in the eyes and said "how have i been inside you for the past twenty minutes when my pants are still on?"
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He came when he saw that my nipples were pieced
At one point I was waiting in line for the port o potties and a storm trooper came out of one and sprayed me in the face with a water gun
Like that actually happened I wasn't hallucinating
The last time I've felt a woman's touch, the twin towers were compromised. You can wait like one week
Got 2 free lines of blow from some random guys on the side of 13th street.....how's your Sunday going?
I think you might be the first man ever to describe getting a blowjob as "neat"
I'm one bad relationship away from owning seven cats.
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