69 |D_O
wtf does that mean??
it's a very specialized emoticon, means 'i heard you fucking some dude through my bedroom wall last night and so i listened intently"
Update from family reunion: my aunt Janet once got her legs stuck behind her head. The fire department had to be called.
About me waking up with a tatto of a hamster with a top hat ?
hey.....beach week happens
The lesbians are drunkenly meowing in the hallway again. This is the shit I'll miss at home.
He cut part of his finger off. It was a consolation blow job.
Everyone in the office is in total denial. I asked my boss what he did this weekend and he said "nothing much." But I know we were both thinking about the orgy.
Hate sex is good. Drunk sex is better. Combine those two however and you get the best experience of your LIFE.
multiple people will be seeing my nips tonight. not mad about it at all
Why is there puke in my guitar?
Because you puked in your guitar.
The walk home lasted longer than the sex. He lives in the flat above the bar.
I'm moving out of my place and I just gave my mom a couch that I had sex on last night. Reduce, reuse, recycle at its best.
Idk I'm sorry it's weird to ask for testimonials on your penis
He was smart enough to bring a condom to our study date so I mean I'm sure he'll do fine on the test
Just taking a shit and realized the captain planet theme song is stuck in my head.
He said when the pizza came I zip locked one slice and went to the couch and snuggled with it. Does that give you an idea of how my night was?
Randomize
