I guess you don't realize how much twelve bags of chips are, until they're all over your floor.
You should ask if we are margaritasing tomorrow. and yes i did just turn that into a verb
Stealing vibrators from Walmart together was when I realized you'd be my Maid of Honor.
i was that girl throwing up in the urinal. it was a dark moment in my life.
the whole story woulnd't be so depressing if i had made out with ANYONE but the piano player.
If you like her enough, bring her with. If not, eloquently cunt punt that bitch through the field goals of life.
I just pulled the nickels from earlier out of my bra in class. The guy next to me is either terrified or intrigued.
When I took off my jeans he became more excited about my Elmo underwear than sex but to be fair, who can blame him. They're awesome undies.
Also, if asking a guy to come over and watch curling with you doesn't scream let's fuck then idk what does
I'm tired of the topic. I sent him a pic of my vagina to change it.
your girlfriend showed us your homemade porn last night.
A picture of a damn cupcake brought back 3 fuckboys
If my plane goes down do me a favor. Break into my house and get the batman costume and swing out of my bedroom.
I remember 2 things. 1. Hanging through the window. 2. And she needing a bucket to puke in. That’s all. I have no other memory.
Only you would try street racing in a Volvo.
Randomize
