Obv we're gonna bbm each other in bed
Yes, one should always join a cult. At least once.
Prereq for being on nyc prep: money, bitchy, and a lazy eye... if only you were rich
I don't know how to tell my mom that I'm not sober enough to drive to the dentist...
After a valiant attempt at golf, I think it's time for Tiger to go back to doing what he does best- having sex w/ blond, white women.
I dont think he stole the pillow. I mean if he wanted a souvenir, my thong was on the nightstand.
Ummm I just broke my no puke streak at church
Sorry for screaming that you were an apple in spanish at the bar last night, that was the wine talking
And dildos are 35% off. So. Ya know. Savings.
This is what my life has come to. Drinking champagne alone yelling at the dog because no one wants to hang out with me
There is this threesome scene that is literally 10 minutes of straight fucking
Omg so it's educational?
When we tried to make a video I set the camera to 3sec pictures accidentally so instead of a movie we have a flipbook of our sex.
She stripped naked and ran around the outside of the house while I stood by the tent holding her clothes shouting "come back" because I was too drunk to chase her. This is why we can't have nice things.
A massage should never include spaghetti sauce. shit was fucked up
Fuck this virus. We’re finally back on campus but the bars suck parties are banned sports are canceled we eat in our rooms and can’t fucking hangout with anyone. I’m tired of virtual classes and involuntary celibacy
OMG IKR! It’s not college unless we’re puking in a toilet wondering if we’re pregnant or just hungover!
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