no, i dont want the owner to like me bc i dedazzled my vagina
i guess i finally out drove tiger woods this morning..
I always enjoy the bewildered gaze as I buy chips, salsa and beer @ 0745.
I wish I'd realized he looked like Skrillex before I was already in the middle of fucking him...
You said dick pics aren't attractive
Random ones, from strangers, no. But a beautiful penis I know and love, absolutely :3
In other news, I'm pretty sure my mom was encouraging me to have a threesome yesterday... I don't even want to start digging in that garden of horror and trauma.
your life is not complete until you watch a gaggle of murderous clowns dance to gangnam style.
also, what is the correct term for a shit ton of clowns?
Idk dude I just feel kinda weird masturbating in my Obama Biden 2008 shirt...
I knew it was on when all she had to say about the handcuffs was 'I really hope these adjust tighter!'
Do you ever just feel the storm building inside of you that tells you you're ready for a giant indiscriminate fuckfest?
I yelled at him as he left "you broke up with me. You lost your blow job privileges"
I just said "you do you" to my penis.
Lynn just told me "I heard about your divorce. Condoms or morning pill your choice and I'm buying". Sorry but I got plans now bro.
I swear to god, I'm like....the Jedi master of dick.
i looked that guy up on facebook. the one who went down on me for two hours
what's the verdict
i've been scrubbing my vag all morning
Randomize
