I didn't know people actually cried after sex.
So he didn't pull out. And I like flipped out. And the he told me to chill and opened up a drawer full of packs of Plan B and handed me one.......
please dont make me drink to the titanic soundtrack
she's just sitting here eating cilantro out of my herb garden and watching some show about ducks on tv and laughing, what the fuck did you give her?
I showed that dick picture that your date texted you to everyone because you passed out and left your phone unattended. Your fault. Plus his cock was big so his fault too.
I threw up sweet potatoes. Worst thing to throw up ever. They came back mashed.
Did you know that scruff feels epic on boobs especially when they are covered in whip cream?
I think I may be the only girl in the world that can say she has fallen asleep grasping a penis..... 3 different times...... 3 different penises
My niece I'm babysitting left earlier to stay the night with her friend. I got ditched by an 8 year old.
They think I'm one of them. I'm about to get drunk in a Santa suit and bust down the door singing Christmas carols.
That wasn't even sex. That was a fuckoning
...did you just create a word for what we did?
These guys are just fucking with my heart instead of fucking me. They're fucking up.
I just threw up in front of a bunch of parents/prospective students while they were on a campus tour..awesome..
I'm sorry I walked in on you guys, but all I heard from outside was her screaming "Dive, dive!". Sex was my last guess for what was going on in there.
Just walked into the supermarket puking into a plastic bag while wearing my favorite Bob Ross shirt. I am a human disaster.
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