i woke up in his bed, he had my shirt on
and high school musical 3 was playing on his lap top
"Shots" has been nominated for a grammy. Now all of the US has sunken to our level...
I drank almost a whole fifth last night. Woke up with blood everywhere wearing a "stereotype this" tshirt. How fitting
I was wondering where I've seen this kid then I remembered I saw him doing lines of blow of his gf's leg while she was sleeping last week.
Oh the joys of strong arming a man into exclusivity
Well at least he stopped keeping track of money by bottles of McCormick.
So befoe we go on this mission how reliable are you for bailing peope out of jail
I am currently exfoliating my skin with the toilet. We've never been so close.
Why i have shady connections. Owner just txt me asking to come by and judge the new stripper.
I had very briefly met him a few years ago. My friend was tired of hearing us both complain about being horny. She figured she would fuck two birds with one stone.
Desperation looks like a $1 bottle of vodka and warm Cuban tap water.
So if I run into you on the street, I'm supposed to just stop drop and suck your dick?
It's very disconcerting to wake up and she is gone. I never know where she could be. It's like playing wheres Waldo but Waldo could potentially be drunk and wandering around in weird places that normal Waldo's don't go.
Remember that time we were together? Yeah, I don't miss that.
I just caught your son trying to perform fellatio on himself. What do I do?
Randomize
