Everytime I cough, my tampon falls out a little bit. Does this mean I'm loose?
why didn't you say something constructive like "stop chugging that vodka"?
I seriously dont think i have ever ridden a horse sober.
September 16th, captains log. I awoke in a daze, not sure of my location
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
The prostitute across the street from us is having a seizure on her front lawn again.
we found you in the closet, clutching coats that werent yours for stability
Im drinking in homer but I guess Egan got arrestest on an "assault by water ballon" charge but tom actually threw the water balloon in question at the bartender.
Also I legit had a girl at my bar crying tonight saying to her friend "why did he have to take his top off ?"
well this is gonna sound really bad but we were fooling around on sandra's electrical wheelchair
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
If we go out with the 22/23 year olds we should make t a double date. I don't want to endure the judging looks of the public as I rob the cradle alone.
Got done with class, now I'm buying MD 2020 with the ex. Sure feels like college.
Drink water, eat food, and stop tazing yourself
2017 is my year to realize stuff. Move over Kylie Jenner
like, there should be nothing wrong with me wanting to watch you put on a bikini and roll around in a kiddie pool of jello
apparently i ended up downloading "thats amore", giving him head, and singing it... all at the same time
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