He is like the real live version of the state fair..
dude she was so drunk she thought Jim Joyce made the right call
You're the only person i know who can laugh and talk while puking
they esentially rejected my mermaid threesome offer:(
I remember three things: you falling down an entire flight of stairs, me stripping out of your Christmas one-sie to do cartwheels in my underwear, and people standing above me saying, "where did that bump on her head come from?"
Also, I was told I kept the antlers on the entire time. I'm deeming last night a success.
i passed out twice in the shower, twice on the bathroom floor, once holding the toilet bowl and 8 times moving from the bathroom to my bed. Tequila sucks.
Sailor Jerry came over for the evening. It was a magical evening. I didn't even get puke in the house.
Honestly and this might sound scary... But I want to get high and play with weapons
Apparently duct taping your dick to your buttcheks before the first time she goes down on you isn't as funny as projected. She cried because she thought I was a girl the whole time.
I was thinking about the biological process causing me to puke while I was puking. THAT'S how much I'd been studying.
I told you for Halloween we just need to let the loins free! Let the girth come to us in a flock, drenched with passion!
The only thing he told me before he passed out was that he is from Buffalo and I'm a bitch.
His boxer smelled like clean laundry while I was giving him head. It was delightful, like sucking a dick in a spring meadow.
good news, i've got tacos. bad news, kevin's in the ER. more good news, the tacos were free.
I woke up with a jacket; in it passport, hockey tickets, sunglasses, credit card, bank transactions
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