It's kind of sad that your greatest accomplishment today is that you stood up and didn't fall down.
The worst part of it is that he's not the first man I've fucked with 2+ chihuahua's.
do you ever get flashbacks of ppl you had sex with and just shudder at how gross they were/how drunk you were?
story of my life.
Have fun at school today. Try to hide that you're a whore. The other girls will like you better that way.
And then she banged "the first Italian rapper"
Go ahead. I tried to back up ur budhism story but she mite be catching on
Dammit. I hoped that would work. Just tell her I'm doing my pilgrmidge to Nepal or something.
There was a reason that "Throat Warrior 2011" was written on my martini glass. He said my title was undisputed.
Did you get the "i have a yeast infection from that wet frat bathroom floor" text?
i dont care. it has been a 14 hour day, and we are all celebrating by alternating shots and grilled cheese.
You just met him on Thursday, and you've already nicknamed him Golden Penis?
I'm going out w/ her for her b-day in a bit. I just talked to one of her drunk friends on the phone who asked if I could "handle 7 lesbian." This could be interesting.
This ER has an aquarium in it!!!
So he says to my dad "I'll pull out of your daughter but I'm not going to apologize". Yea, my night was fun.
i tried giving myself a bikini wax.1. i hate you 2. i think i'm dying
Mom says you're allowed to come home if you replace the towels. I don't want to know why.
Randomize
