Im in Brooklyn, he wasnt 23 or a musician pick me up
I know it's getting bad when I wash the bong more often then the dishes
Im telling you now. Hang out with winning football players and you get whatever the hell you want. Sorry to wake you. But its important knowledge.
i feel like pocahontas...the disney character not from real chance of love
Just shaved my vagina. It's been so long I forgot what it looked like. You need to come over right now.
I mean I'm not worried about us not getting wasted. I'm more worried that I'll be doing a Boris yeltzen impression by 1030.
I never want to hear the words unlimited shots for boobs in the same sentence ever again.
He went 'unicorn hunting' and lost a fight with a fence. That's how he ended up in the ER.
Let me know when ur ready so I can throw up one last time then brush my teeth
I'm at work. It's margarita night. Someone literally just shouted "MURICUH!"
God bless us, everyone.
she came back from her house with A paper cut , a 2liter of sprite with Bacardi , and half a mustache . we're inviting her more ofte
If that guy asks u bout me, I said my name is Jenelle, from CT, I'm a cat behiavor consultant and I'm 29. Back my story up
I just opened my travel toothbrush holder and it smelled like vodka...maybe a vodka cranberry. This says a lot about my vacations.
Now the fun stuff starts.
Someone is losing a finger.
I was so high last night that at one point I kept licking his neck saying he tasted like soap and truffles.
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