True friendship; bangin a girl to get ur friends hat back
I mean I had a leg brace. It would have been irresponsible for me to be on top.
you were watching the nanny crying, saying I wish I was that thin eating twinkies. THAT DRUNK.
I won the karaoke contest at the bar last night, when they called my name i was doing blow off the toilet seat, i thought they caught me, i didnt even know there wasa contest
Going to have to start putting down newspaper if puking the bed is going to be a habit
Just walked out of 7 11 still in uniform when 4 girls in bikinis in a convertable screamed "we fuck firefighters!"
Career choice validated
Nothing like wearing your heels and smelling like henney in the afternoon
Covered in confetti and bad decisions
I love shooting for the middle. Those girls never wake up well.
I dont know how I should feel about you making a 37 year old come visit you and then making him do the walk of shame from your dorm room...through campus
Apparently, the Mormons have taken over airports. I was told by a befuddled looking clerk I couldn't buy a beer with breakfast before 6am.
Me and Jason had to grab your legs and arms and drag you in the house. You kept screaming "leave me for dead"
Seriously considering modifying my computer case so it can dispense wine. I need to make a bunch of changes and reorganize it's guts anyway....
Where are you and why are you fighting with a bird?
he went down on me while I ate Oreos. I don't know what caused the orgasm.
Btw, apparently no one knows who ordered the pizzas for the after party, no one paid, and the delivery lady made a celeb shot, took a beer, then said she'd be back later to finish up the game...
Randomize
