Let's hustle tonight so we can relax tomorrow
Perfect. Like where your heads at
By relax I mean have sex
my grandma just put on bowling shoes, to play wii bowling.
He just reenacted his orgasm in front of my roommates....using a squeeze bottle of mayonnaise.
i just figured out how to balance my wine bottle on my boobs so that i don't have to tip it with my hands...breathing has new meaning
did i walk over a car last night?
woke up laying on an empty pizza box and some guy was doing blow off my butt...i guess i should thank you.
Did I tell you I had a charge show up for $36 on a credit card I haven't used in 6 months from Wild Wings? It was that night we slept across the street from the bar.
Doctor just prescribed me 20mg Ritalin 3 times a day. It's becoming the "grain and oats" section of my food triangle.
Guess which frat house I just walked out of! And on a related note... guess who's uncircumsized
Now I get the fucking shakes every time I hear I'm Sexy And I Know It. Thanks, Captain Morgan.
You were, but he disappeared after you said you wanted him to get you pregnant so you'd have a child by the time the Boy Meets World sequel starts
So his roommate walked in on us, went upstairs to tell her bf she has found a new use for the rafters & they must try it.
My stripper pole led lights flash with the sound so it's awsome with music
She showed me her tits outside Taco Bell....After she flashed the dude working there in an effort to get in.
I'm still waiting for God to smite you for impersonating a decent human being.
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