you lied vaginas dont taste like gold fish!
noo i said youre golden if her vagina tastes like fish!
i hope kanye doesn't show up to patrick swayze's funeral. " i'll let you get back to your funeral in a minute...but michael jackson had the best death of the year. just sayinnn ".
Getting sheets for college, what is the thread count that shows the least amount of cumstains?
630.
My date keeps hitting on your friend. Had no expectations, but not a real confidence booster.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
MOMMMMMMMMMMAYYY! YOU BIRFED ME TODAYY. IM CELEBRTIN ON YUR BEHAF! THANK YOU!!!!!
I always hoped you would never inherit this side of my personality. Hon, trust me, you're a mess. Go to bed...alone. xoxoxo
1 be hot 2 flirt with everyone 3 use hotness to make people do things for you. It's a simple model.
By the end of the night I was using him as a leg rest and he was handing me pizza rolls when I wiggled my hand. It's a proven method.
Dude I am not desperate enough to pay my dealer in change. Maybe tomorrow.
I had to smuggle a street sign attached to a 14ft long pole out of my house this morning. The list of reasons for me not to drink just keeps getting longer.
Dude what the fuck...
Today wasn't Sunday Funday, it was more like Sunday god is taking a shit on my life day
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Look, sometimes you have to snapchat a topless photo of yourself in the middle of class just to prove you can. I can and I did. End of argument.
Do you ever look back on your life and think - man I should have never had sex with that guy
I helped you wax your vagina and you won't even get me Corn Nuts you fucking bitch?
I'm glad I date someone who likes the simple things. Sex, kittens, and McDonald's.
Ever had one of those went so hard last night you woke up at the foot of the bed naked wondering where your phone ended up?
How does it make you feel that I can't control my vagina around you?
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