I just had a 2 1/2 hr conversation about the pros and cons of taping your ballsack to your taint, which then led into the unveilling of lady gaga being a hermaphrodite.
nothing i could have done in life could have prepared me for walking in on her SHITTING on my rug.
Needless to say there is no second date for this girl.
yet...
i wanna give whoever invented massage chairs a blow job.
I look at sleeping with him as a way to get up in the world. He will lead me on to bigger and better penises.
Dude, I fucked her last night with nothing but my bandana on. Like straight Indian chief style.
Doctor just prescribed me 20mg Ritalin 3 times a day. It's becoming the "grain and oats" section of my food triangle.
I know. My only sports are biking to buy drugs and running from the police.
the good news is that i vommed the last of my humanity last night.
welcome to the club.
N.C. cops just used a megaphone to tell me I have a slutty outfit. My life is complete.
I told you he wasn't attractive.
Do you think I cared? I was wiping myself with a scarf..
And think got sick again from going outside naked. Word to all females...don't try the naked trench coat thing.
You left me a voice message at 5 a.m. It was mostly incoherent noise, you screaming my name and then something about a man with two butt holes...
We should have a mid-burrito sex-break, too. Just so we don't get too full all at once
Good point.
When your job has killed your spirit to the point that you don't want to flirt with the cute, tall guy at Enterprise
GIRL PLEASE. GO BACK AND POP THE TITTY OUT
I can't remember what I did last night, but judging from the state of my hair I had a pretty good time.
Randomize
