Dude, Her having kids just means she puts out.
i just woke up in the hallway. not my hallway. i officially raise my hand to be DD next week.
you should have heard her the other night. no sentence related to one preceding it. it was like she was in etch a sketch and when she moved she forgot everythin
Watching intervention at a bar. Who let this happen??
I literally might walk of shame home on a cable car. If that doesn't scream San Francisco I don't know what does
How do I politely say my vagina is not a chew toy and if you bite me again I will slap you?
You could say take it easy, whoa there, be gentle, anything that doesn't fully convey the horror.
I told my doctor about us having twin chlamydia
His girlfriends signaled their approval by pulling me off of him and in turn making out with me. I think I will hang out with this group more often
I found you walking along the street hammered. You walked up said hi and handed me a beer.
he said we should drink responsibly and we all just kinda sat there laughing at him
He said I gave him the best head he's ever had and I bowed. I BOWED.
I'm finally in my bed, my pants are off, and there's no pee on my carpet this is the best life has been all day
The ONLY reason I am doing laundry is because all my sweatpants are dirty.
I can't wait to get to LA so I can punch her in the face
I almost accidentally threw him out a window during sex last night.
Randomize
