Your brother just successfully got half the bar mostly naked
She made a list of the things each of us had done wrong and assigned a point system. Guess who came out the loser?
She just messaged me 19 sad faces.
You're breaking my vagina 4 times a day I reserve the right to know your middle name.
I don't remember his name but he sat in the bathroom and gave us both advice...
she fell through a window trying to flash someone
I know. My only sports are biking to buy drugs and running from the police.
I expected to wake up with a sext of you posing nude and all I got was a missed call.....disappointed.
I'm sorry I think it was because I lost a chicken nugget in my purse and that's all that was on my mind until 4am
Man in California was arrested for killing and eating a wild bobcat while high on crystal meth. Let's please NEVER get that high on anything...
Its... i dont even know. theres lots of rap music and i cant find my shoes
She is the absolute last thing I would want to screw. Honestly. Fellating a porcupine. Higher on the list.
Having to grow a landing strip to cover the bruises from pole dancing. Thanks for the birthday present, but next time, maybe just a gift card?
If you hear a sad honk in the wind it is me.
You called me into the kitchen so you could show me that you were peeing in the kitchen sink and then told me to leave bc you couldn't do it with me watching
you started putting peanut butter on your pubes.
Randomize
