I am I'm going to have heart failure he's peed on my life.
Vibrator and massage oils got stopped at security. Super.
She is going down in cock block history. He went in to kiss me and she threw her hand between our faces and yelled "DENIED!"
You paid the taxi driver with a comb last night.
i like him when i'm sober AND when i'm drunk.i've been searching for this my whole life
I wish I still had pics from the prostitute I paid/dated
According to this USDA thing I just read, I should either get upper respiratory issues or begin to bleed from my nose and mouth.
The Supreme Court upheld health insurance. If that's not an excuse to get hospital drunk, I don't know what is.
Our lady landlord called. Dot worry, I handled it. Drunk. Tell her it was Nate. Done. Good. Bye. Drunk.
i feel like i should invite him over so he can cockblock my roommate one last time before he graduates. for old times sake, ya know
Just high enough for therapy.
He had a step stool to get in to his bed!
I walked into the living room this morning and he was there with 3 shots in a row. He said it was "tea time."
was his pinky out?
Just threw up in the shower. Hangovers at 23 are the best.
....even the bartender was embarrassed for her
Randomize
