dude, you're being a jerk.
sorry, didn't mean to pull a Cheney
Ohh the wonderful, yet disgusting things she can do with her hair
dude i just saw a topless girl trying to get into her locked car. im moving here
Dude..her orgasm sent her into a seizure...theres no joke here. It happened.
I knew his night was already over when he started marking lines on the bottle and setting goals
We were on the balcony tossing jello shots to people passing below
When people said no i'd yell "i tried them i promise they aren't roofied!"
Between the hair pulling and the choking its its more like combat than sex
Sorry I have an "Operation Iraqi Freedom" fantasy
yeah that's what i said...you fucked him and peed on his comforter
yeah well...Like any great yacht, I leave a wake
My Bio teacher gave me extra marks for putting "deer with AK-47 seeking retribution" at the top of the food chain on my exam. 51% pass here i come!!
My garbage can has nothing in it besides condoms and candy wrappers. That's good garbage.
Btw kudos to your tongue last night. Sorry about that lady jizz in your beard.
dude, i just accidentally flashed your mom. BIG TIME.
Man i fell asleep on a random persons porch on the way home and woke up to the family banging on the windows trying to wake me up
he's really high and upset. he just found out alice from the brady bunch died
Listen, some people have dreams, some people just want to cock slap a kangaroo
Randomize
