Reason #437 to hate Louisiana: Just went to the public bathroom at work. It was so humid the toilet seat was damp and sticky. Either it's the humidity or I sat in somebody's yesterday piss. I choose to believe the humidity.
looking back, maybe 11 flaming dr peppers was a little extreme
she said we were using the spray butter as air freshener
It wasn't a threesome, it was me making out with one while looking at the other one screaming "does this make you jealous?"
Let's discuss options later this evening. I'll draw out said options and compare and contrast the "accessibility" of the costume for quickies. Because you never know. Halloween is full of surprises. I'll also compare practicality, level of skank, and creative features.
Are you drunk? Because I am and if you're not, this may be very awkward in the morning
Thats for me to know and you to find out.
I hope it's the birth control, otherwise I'm dying
That is an awkward looking cockshot, not gonna lie
Apparently when your theatre teacher asks who the best actor of our time is, Nicolas Cage is not the right answer.
and than he said 'I did amateur porn for a while' and I just knew tinder did not fail me this time
Yo, how much weed can I get for a caf swipe?
idk man, I was fucked up and eating fried rice at the grocery store, tried to wave at her but she just looked concerned at me.
I'm at that point in my life where keeping an extra pair of underwear in my purse is normal.
Last night this creepy guy asked me my name and I told him it was Jaundice and he called me that all night
I just ran into my psychology professor at Planned Parenthood she asked why I was there and I asked why she was there and it turns out we both had a scare.#bonding because of abortion.
Randomize
