you kept yelling something about watching the muppets chirstmas carol and trying to turn the t.v. on with your car keys
Just woke up in bed, AC on high, with a fresh pack of smokes, an unopened pint of vodka, and a bag w a beef patty w cheese in it. I think my roommate's like the toothfairy or something. Or that was way more Xanax than I needed.
I would have rather watched a full length video of myself masturbating than heard that.
I was passed out on the dog bed yelling "I UNDERSTAND"
nothing like a walk of shame in front of a cnn news crew to start the morning off right
I swear some just paged for more cock rings over the intercom.
Everyone else in class agrees the weed smell is coming from me
Evvvvvveryone knows we hooked up in the DJ booth. People call it the BJ booth now. I've created a legacy
sent a snap of my boobs out to my FWB his response was what happened to your other nipple ring.. how do I say it got ripped out by my other FWB last week without sounding like a slut
How hard is it to grasp the concept of 'I lost an impromptu saber bout and so I have to make a macaroni map of Soviet Russi, including Kazicstan'!?
Besides, I don't need any more men there who have seen my tits. #bearwatch2014
I hate him but I love him for what he does which is me
dude the last time we saw him was 2 nights ago when he was yelling that the trees were naked or some shit then he ran into the forest. I think its time for a search party
He told me that he had never gotten a blow job. I sat there for a second, then thought "I MUST FIX THIS!" It was fucking fantastic.
I told him to take his man panties off and take the fucking Jaeger bomb already, so no to a 2nd date
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