You're the only person with a favorite bar in Disneyworld
What kind of soap washes out shame, bad decisions, and whiskey?
Irish Spring?
You asked the dj to play 'who let the dogs out" because it was your birthday. You left the bar and then re-entered to the song
I wish the holidays was like a drive thru. Get in. Get your presents. Get out.
IF CHARLIE SCHEEN CAN DO IT I CAN DO IT IM A PROFESSONAL
He just had a handle of vodka with ice in it yelling at people hot august night mother fuckaaaaa and was pouring it on his face
omg i just made best friends with a deer. Im like the drunk santa clause.
Next time, dont ever let me talk to a guy drunk, especially if I have class with him the next day
Who do you have class with??
The guy that pulled down his pants in the middle of the dance floor to show me his tattoo
yesterday pre dick pic he said "no disrespect to your situation but i cant wait to get ahold of you again in the future" is this how people network??
He started yelling "you tha man!" while I was reverse cowgirl
I was gonna respond but i couldnt figure out a way to rearrange 'fuck his brains out' to sound grammatically correct
so an orgy is about to happen in the next room if you wondered where i am currently at in life
why do guys have to express their feelings when they know your seeing someone else ? I fucked him anyways to make him feel better , and to know what he's missing.
I'm a grown ass woman. Treat me like one. Fuckboy
I'm about to go get lunchables and alcohol. Take that adulthood
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