my dad just told me that a lesbian kissed my mom at a bar last year
I'm towing my little brother down the road on a sixty year old tractor, we're taking up the whole highway, and no one cares. I love South Dakota.
When he was fingering me, it felt/looked like he was digging around for pocket change.
Never get a handjob from a girl who gives deep tissue massages.
I fell asleep to the sounds of them banging in the next room. It was oddly soothing...
beware of the wheat thins...there might be a knife in it
dude i woke up sitting indian style with my face on the ground and my hand in a bucket of ice.
I'm all for hockey players but dude, he asked me to lick his chipped tooth mid-hook up.
Also, rendered a whole bar silent last night when I told a guy to take off his panties and take a shot out of my cleavage. Video to follow...
Let me tell you how my drug dealer wants me to take his girlfriends little sister to jr prom
YOU CHEATED ON ME WITH THE WOMAN THAT IS STAYING AT YOUR HOUSE. FORGIVE ME IF IM NOT THINKING YOUR A DEDICATED BOYFRIEND.
Lesbians had sex in my bed last night. It's a thing of pride
I might attempt to pee into a cup while driving. I'll let you know how it goes.
You are free to stop by. I promise to keep my penis in my leather pants
You should probably come home from vacation now. I make badddd decisions when you're gone.
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