Get condoms and clear your schedule for the night. I'm bringing chinese food!
So drunk can't even tell it's my own house. WOaoOw.
Ask him about the girl he took home Saturday night. I swear she voted for Kennedy.
i'm glad we're now at the level of friendship where we can comfortably discuss the quality of our shit
his grandma walked in on us. twice. and he was truly fucking surprised when i put my pants back on.
He went around feeding all the high kids pretzels. He's like their god now
So, your mugshot picture is behind the counter at B-Dubs, with the caption: "not allowed on premesis."
Sign out of Gchat. Right now my gchat list is entirely girls I've slept with.. and you. You are fucking up my gchat chi.
Whoevers house this is has only beer and cream cheese in the fridge. Thats the diet im gonna go on
Everyone here knows my boyfriend as "Half Baked". Life, he's doing it right.
I'm not even pretending to study anymore. I'm straight up sleeping in the library
Hey, thanks for not calling the cops when I answered the door naked, high as fuck, and covered in red velvet cake batter.
No I did a yoga dvd and hit my ex up via email for some pot in exchange for his mail.
danced like there was no tomorrow. surprise. there's a tomorrow
There's nothing like when u really click with a stripper
Randomize
