Don't bone anyone, just think of ur vibrator lol
HHaaaaaaaaa mmmmn vibrator
I wasn't on board with that statement until "home made dinosaurs"
PS, you're not being slutty, you're "making dreams true."
I DONT WANT TO PLUS I THINK I FLUSHED MY KEYS DOWN THE TOILET WHILE I WAS PEEING
he broke up with her mid blow job, and somehow convinced her to finish. I want his life
The good thing about having holes in your nose from all the drugs you do is that you can't smell nasty things. Like puke.
well shes beginning to earn a reputation as "the girl who tries to bone her hook ups in the ass with a pickle"
All i want to do is drink fuck and cry... you dont have to cater all three its more like the saddest choose your own adventure ever
Yea... The gym isn't gunna happen today... When I was drunk last night I tried to prove I could front flip off the wheel cover of a semi... I fucked up my shoulder pretty bad... It was more of a roll
You might have to deal with a coked up ex pan American gold medalist wrestler when you get back to the room
In the middle of pounding my asshole he stopped and said, "do you want to get breakfast after this?"
I woke up and finished the bottle like a champ
Whenever a guy asks me why I like weird sex stuff, I just answer, "Catholic School".
Regardless I WANT TO BE YOUR SEX DISPENSARY. that is like the career I was born for.
So today the police came to my dorm to look for weed, i didn't have any in the room, so i let them in. they apologized for any inconvenience and then left after finding nothing. then i realized i was wearing gauges with weed leaves on them lol
Randomize
