Have you ever noticed every guy named Shaant has scene hair and date girls with racoons stripes in theirs
His name should be shouldn't
My boss just called me into his office to apologize for being an "inadvertant cockblock"
What did you even date her?
because emotionally unstable girls are great in bed.
I don't even want to talk about it, I'm traumatized. Even the dog knew to take advantage of the most intoxicated girl at the party...
Well, I just watched him puke into his pitcher at the bar, I doubt he cares about anything other than the fact that he needs a new beer.
Oh my God, I want him to live with his face in my vagina forever.
Girl walking by was talking on the phone about how he needed to write a gratitude list in her letter to god this week. Too stoned
get over here soon, theyre throwing bbeers at us from the roof. keyword : throwing
Made fish tank punch. It's like trash can punch but in a fish tank. Also, my dad saw a picture I uploaded on Facebook and called me a pussy for only making 10 gallons.
you are dancing on the line between undergrad and alcoholic.
I'm just gonna stay I'm bed where it is warm and cozy and nobody knows me as the girl that puked on a stripper
I've got the dick your vagina needs, but not the one it deserves right now.
HAPPY AIDS-LESS FOURTH OF JULY YOU HEALTHY FUCK
Random one night stand with a guy that had a USA tattoo on his ass. Can't possibly get more American than that
so I think we need to change lawn care services...the guy woke me up by the pool while I was naked...told me he already picked up all the beer cans for us and gave me his number for the next time we party...
Randomize
