just went onto Yahoo and the featured article had a picture of one of the Jonas brothers. last two times the featured article was a celebrity's face the headline was "Michael Jackson is Dead" and "Pitchman Billy Mays is Dead" so naturally I got a little excited. Turns out he's just engaged. Who gives a fuck.
my dad brought home flowers.. so i started talking to them
Just saw Youth in Revolt. There are only so many times Michael Cera can lose his virginity.
States back in the final four. Now our sunday night drinking has purpose. Sparty on baby.
I can get orange kush...
GET IT NOW! WHY IS THERE A DOT DOT DOT?!
he's doing fine. just headbutted the wall and threw up
I remember fighting the chubby dude and the bouncer put me in the full Nelson. Woke up this morning with a dislocated shoulder. We need to finish the rest of this beer though
I'm sorry but I require more work than your hamster. I need food, a minimum of 5 pillows, and I need to be played with daily.
My roommate is either deadlifting a bus or having sex. I can't tell which
I am about to embark upon a south Boston wedding....
Hydrate.
Halloween is the end of the singles holidays they don't start again until st. Patrick's day we better get wifed up or it's going to be a long winter lol
And then god smiled down upon me and he said let there be hangover food and let it be Wendy's
Well shove his head down there and tell him not to stop til we have a new president!
I have a few Facebook friends I only keep around for quality control purposes on Tinder
He was actually surprised when I poured myself a glass full of straight vodka. Clearly he doesn't know me as well as he thinks.
Randomize
