why did i save someone in my phone as corn dildo?
I totally thought the tree was playing the guitar
i just google imaged poop.
What can i say im a girl who smells like weiners.
Just paid my credit card bill at the bar. This phone makes it so I never have to leave
then she said she was half-a-virgin and that she would appreciate it if i would finish what her old booty call started
It was like watching porn, except it was in real life, and it was starring two of your best friends.
He blew a .19 and then slurred "well I did have some rum cake earlier today officer".
We need to play Chardee MacDennis. Contact me when you have an available date. This is not a question.
I have acquired 14 pictures of hard dicks tonight... I was on a mission. Don't even pretend you aren't proud.
I'm pretty sure I swallowed a whole condom
Please explain why there is a video of you peeing in the Taco Bell bathroom on my phone? Also why did you wink at the end?
The weed is temporarily burning the grammar section of my brain library.
Thanks to you and Ketel One I now have a court summons with the actual word "frolicking" on it.
You know when you're a kid and you play at the pool until you passed out? It was like that except instead of playing it was sex.
Randomize
