been sitting in chapter for 25 minutes. drinking last night's franzia out of a XXX vitamin water 10 bottle. recruitment chair has no idea. life is good.
its no coincidence her full name and "cling" are the same in t9
You found Muppets From Space a little too intense, so you just sorta sat on the ground and stared at the wall plug for an hour and a half.
The baby slept soo good last night. Its like he knows the importance of me being intoxicated all weekend.
You are the only person I know that goes to a bar enough to charge your iPhone there....
Waking up in a pool chair wrapped in toilet paper is not what I planned when I agreed to movie night
Idk yet. Trying to convince him to get a phoenix bird tattoo first
I'm drinking Leinenkugel through a Red Vine. I'm not drunk. I'm just happy with my life so far.
the bar didnt serve shots so jim ordered us jaeger neat. it worked.
Eating a TV dinner and watching Goosebumps on Netflix, the sad, sad title of my autobiography.
I lost my bra at his grandma's house so there's that.
Everyone is like kids first day of school and I'm over here like I need to stop sleeping with random
You rolled over grabbed my crotch and said "that's my waffle." I'm sleeping on the couch next time.
He stood up through the sunroof yelling "CHOCOLATE MILK BITCHESSSS!!!! YOU AIN'T WORTH SHIT NOW!!!" the sad part is he wasn't even drunk yet. I worry about him sometimes.
I have more important things to worry about than you drowning your cheerios in tequila.
Randomize
