There was something that i liked about you, but you spent it
We walked because you started screaming when you finally realized he wasn't Ben Bailey and it wasn't the Cash Cab.
just got drunk at a party with Christmas themed solo cups.. holidays are officially here.
is it normal that we went to that class once and both got 100's on the final? ohhhh, arizona state.
margarita scented body wash shouldn't be used the morning after cuervo. there should be a warning on the label.
i felt horrible..i wanted to somehow give him his vcard back
that's a non refundable transaction sweetheart
Just an fyi, teatherball while wasted might be the hardest sport ever.
Dude. The girls called me over to see what they had in their dorm. They snuck in a pigeon in a cardboard box. They named it Quincey. They swear they're sober.
what are we doing this weekend?
I have enough booze to get us through Armageddon...which basically means that on Sunday we will have to make a trip to the liquor store.
Please. Last time I saw him I awkwardly pulled his rat tail until it got too weird
I cried and ate like 6 tacos in the taco bell parking lot at almost midnight, sober, alone, listening to a demi lavato cd. And that was the good part.
Just had a horrible realization. I've fucked a guy with a webbed foot AND a guy with a third nipple.
Even though he had a fractured vertebrae, the sex was still phenomenal. Better than normal actually. I hope the vertabrae never heals.
You're right. I woke up today with my ugly sweater still on and no pants. I'd say it was a successful night.
I just watched some kid bang his girlfriend and I was like whatever I'll just sit here and do all your fucking drugs that's fine
Randomize
