you think it's bad that I have four different guys toothbrushes in my bathroom?
The walk of shame isn't so shameful when you do it in a stolen, autographed Favre jersey.
thank you for introducing me to everyone on chat roulette as I was passed out.
All I want in this world right now are Doritoessssss
OK. You going to get home safe? Who are you with?
Doritoesssssss
The fact you even thought licking it would fix it boggles my mind
Well it worked
Not the point
She introduced herself as 'Ann the sober one.' Took me to a coat check and a lost and found. Then offered coffee and breakfast sandwiches. Turns out she's been paying her half of the electric bill running post-party operations.
At the time, making out with dudes for keg money seemed like a genius idea. Now I realize it was borderline prostitution.
I just want to be naked all the time but not in a sexual, come-hither and look at my ass sort of way. In a slightly chubby yet not ashamed way as I eat Taco Bell and lay on soft fuzzy blankets.
List 10 things your GF won't do for you, and we can work through that list.
Definitely had a dick in my ass while watching the Seahawks win. Best NFC Championship game ever.
I feel like I shouldn't be encouraging my friends to hook up with their teachers.....but if it's for academic reasons....then I definitely encourage it.
Sometimes I look at her and just start choking. She is that much of an evil entity.
I might be drinking a 4-day old opened beer on a Wednesday. You're in no position to judge me.
It would have only made it one day at my place.
Did a 4 pm walk of GLORY the next day.
He picked me up in Smart Car with the license plate “MYWHIP.” I think my ovaries shriveled up and died.
Randomize
