it was a weeks worth of wine for $20. it would have been fiscally irresponsible to not buy it.
If there was a god I would have a big mac right now, but i don't
What a whore. She reminds me of that asian guy who can eat all the hotdogs.
I'm not embarrassed about the lap dance. I'm embarrassed for the singing during.
Still had my bottle opener ring on. Started to give him a hand job. LOL
We made a bet that we had to talk like Yoda all night at the bars
So, we bought a knight today. Nearly life size. Hes in the garage, so don't be startled.
I'm more of a 'talk at me while I stare at you' kinda girl.
I honestly think she should have her own reality show called "Lowering the Bar" and it consists of a camera crew following her from Bar to bar hooking up with unsuspecting drunk attractive men.
Nothing says "class act" like eating acid in the middle of a Buffalo Wild Wings
Of all the things I've masturbated to while high, my favorites are ritz chips and trees
I used my dress as a plate for pizza rolls last night
I'm so sad at the lack of dick in my life I am going to get sauced and make rice krispy treats
I'm over here trying to figure out how to get shake shack delivered to my bed and Jamie is having a child
She puked on the floor because she said she really liked to clean.
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