oh. my. god. the guy i hooked up with last night is currently wearing a dress.
Yes but life is bad with poopy sheets
Have you ever made a sandwich from swedish fish and tortilla chips?
Did I happen to mention where i left my keys when I drunk dialed you last night
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Dude you ate toast sprawled out on my kitchen floor and said "this is comfy". No more day drinking.
Today, my boyfriend informed me that I look like my dad when I orgasm
No. I just want to cuddle and talk about our feeling. Of course this a booty call.
I'd have paid money to see Cookie Monster playing with a vibrator
You kept trying to get the girl i brought home to hook up with you by enticing her with 12 baconnators you brought home
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
my neighbors having band practice on sunday morning is a message from the universe that I should stop drinking
"Work from home" is code for "morning drinks" right?
all I remember the next morning was crawling through the doggy door and finding my underwear in my purse
I am sweating Crown. It all went wrong when the ratio hit 50-50
Dude i just passed out while getting head...she cried
I’m going down on him like an Oompah Loompah on roller skates.
That makes no sense, but good luck
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