Oh please, I could turn a Vienna Boys Choir concert into a shit show
We got them high and they had an hour long debate on the best way to get cum out of eyes.
you better fuck at least one or both of them.
I don't care if its bassically 3rd world. A country without a drinking age is a country without a drinking age.
he made me scream out "#24" while we fucked...no more football players
Just used water from the fish tank for the bong. Thank you fishy.
he asked me to "shake his dick" when he introduced himself, playing naked football with you in our living room. $100 says you two get married one day.
Your couch is like an animal shelter for stray drunks.
When Vanessa's kindergarten teacher called me in because she was caught with her hand down some boys pants in the bathroom, I knew you babysat last week.
At this point i guess a traditional, non-life-threatening pity fuck is too much to ask for
HOLY SHIT. I JUST FOUND OUT THAT THE KARL/RORY BASEBALL FIGHT THAT RORY LOST WAS 2 YEARS AGO TODAY. RIP KARL'S DICK.
Packing for college has become a game of where did I hide my sex toys.
I'm just going to ride dicks all the way to the to the gates of hell
Ok well my life just seems more exciting by default because I'm dating my married boss and sexting with my ex
We really gotta wear capes to the bar more often...
am i the only one who finds it a little awkward seeing as we all made out last night?
Randomize
