ok think of it like jelly beans. if you can learn to like the licorice ones, youll always have lots of them because no one else wants them. its the same with fat chicks
What I lack in compassion I make up for in lack of compassion
and then he said that the only reasonable explanation as to why I got swine flu was because all I ever do is join the bandwagon
My passouts and memory loss are great training for when I have alzheimers. You'll know where to look when I get lost.
Does anyone know who that girl who fell backwards and broke the shoe rack with her head was?
I woke up to his gay cousin telling me I had the prettiest boobs. I don't even wanna know.
You screamed "she never feeds them anyway" and threw the fish tank off the 3rd floor balcony. Don't park on our side of the building.
After my date left I rallied and took the Asian girl home. Flexibility my friend.
Do to my newly discovered condition I'm having to resort to emergency beat sessions to avoid the temptation to text girls I know are easy slams.
The Uber driver took us to a Waffle House. We didn't even say anything when we got in. MAGIC.
My mom has a bong in her bathroom, but no air freshener.
Don't tell me I can do whatever makes me happy while also saying I have to put on pants.
I couldn't figure out what was more important, finishing the shot or putting out the fire on my leg.
IM FILLED WITH SANDWICHES AND SELF LOATHING
he's such a nice guy...he deserves a bigger dick.
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