i find it a beautiful talent that i know how much pubic hair the girl in the next stall has just from the sound of her urine
I'm bringing poparts in case anyone gets hungry. The trek to frat row is strenuous.
I don't care how hot he got, I can't get past the PTSD flashbacks of the first time he fingered me
I've slowly been stuffing french fries down his pants. I'm at 31 and he hasn't even noticed.
I learned something last night. Strippers can be on house arrest?
It makes no sense at first, you go with it, it's fun and entertaining and then a disaster
I'm considering offering a class on how to find good porn.
It'll be a pair of asscheeks that light up when they're summoned.
HE JUST ALLUDED TO FUCKING MY FRESH LOAF OF BREAD
Be happy for me... Or horny... Or be a really good friend and feel what I want you to feel. Jealousy
DUDE!!!!! THERE IS A MIDGET HANDING OUT RICE KRISPIE TREATS!!!!!! WHERE ARE YOU WHEN THE COOL SHIT GOES DOWN???????
I dont understand why so many people are content staying in and avoiding alcohol and sex
If she didn't block me, she would have known that I sneezed on her toothbrush.
You shouted “im bobby labonte!” In the process of shoutgunning a beer. He said you were too redneck for him...
am drunk, naked, and blow drying cat. need adult supervision
Randomize
