she has a miserable personality but its a good think you dont have sex with that
pussy has no personality
Amen to that
we turned dreidel into a drinking game. i kept landing on gimel. im glad we have 7 more nights of this
I'm not sure what's more surprising, the fact that she said I reminded her of Danny Devito, or the fact that it got me laid.
She was about to go down when you guys iced me. Thanks bro
she left out the fact that she had a kid until she told me not to suck on her tits too hard or milk would come out.
You were high and telling me you felt like Pinocchio and that fire was bad for wood.
she tried to deny peeing on the floor last night. she said she wouldn't make it to the bathroom only to pee on the floor
oh but she would
Jill you already won the game by finding a dude who will fuck you in flamingo knee socks. Theres no hope for the rest of us
His gf just liked my changed relationship status. She's gonna shit bricks when she finds out he left her for me. Bless her little heart.
Eat your greens and take your tequila shots
Yeah we fucked. I ran into her the next day, I had to pick up the girl scout cookies I ordered from her boyfriends kids.
Just don't have sex while watching Home Alone. It will ruin Christmas for you.
Showed up to the airport to find my fuck buddy is on the same flight. Do you think he'd be intertested in the mile high club?
well i can officially check "have sex in a prius" off my bucket list...
the cop found his r2d2 bong and asked me if i ever smoked out of him. i'm like, no sir. he's like ahh. if i were to smoke, it'd definitely be out of some star wars character.
easily made my night.
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