How bad was it?
You ran around telling everyone that you were going to click them to death on google earth
She said she didn't think she should have to shave either. Guess no shave November just became no sex November.
my grandma just told me that size does matter, and don't let anyone tell you anything different.
Just checked my bank account while shitting blood. Neither action felt good when I was done.
She was blacklisted from the Uhaul center...what the fuck do you have to do to get blacklisted from a Uhaul center
I think she's going to be dangerous to drink with, but I'm ready for the adventure.
She told me I made the cut, and to write my name and number on the white board by the door. I was the 7th number down.
Why is there broken glass in my purse?
You stole a snow globe. From your VP. Soooo...maybe don't put all your hopes on that promotion you were expecting
On one hand it was kinda weird his girlfriends stuff was at his apartment. On the other hand it was kinda nice because she had great shampoo
i mean hes a break dancing puerto rican, how do you think the sex was?
I'm so hung over that I'm pretty sure I can feel the earth's rotations when I close my eyes.
So now I know what having sex while surrounded by chickens feels like.
He said he would get me a helmet and bedazzle it with my name and address so the cabs would know where to take me
"Uno más" are officially my least favorite words in the entire Spanish language.
If you are refering to the duckling living in your bath...I can explain, but before I do, can you throw a peice of bread in there?
Randomize
