What's proper 1 nite stand etiquette?
Say hi to his dad and make him some breakfast.
On blowjobs: "If you decide to go there, you finish the job. No complaining." I don't care if it sounds like she's talking about Iraq, I'm in love.
Did we have sex last night or did we just wake up naked covered in oil?
i woke up in his bed to a "teach your baby to read" infomercial. i pray to GOD that's not a sign
i just went 2 months without giving head... thats like two months without coffee. or two months without sun.
nothing says 4th of july like teaching grandma how to work a keg
Yeah but I get laid and I know. He drank toilet water last night and he doesn't know about that either. Still makes me happy though.
It's like a challenge who can be the biggest embarrassment to the family. I win 80% of the time.
im in the library and there's this guy on a computer just staring at a google image of beer. finals week is rough.
Really? A fat girl?
I'm walking her back. Chill out.
She is a nice girl okay. For some reason we are in my room though.
ok, i suppose pissing your pants could be considered a wardrobe malfunction.
Running my fingers through my hair was like that scene in Patch Adams where the old lady got to swim in a pool of pasta. I love Molly.
He fell asleep cradling my ass and every time I moved he adjusted his hand accordingly. I've found the one.
i was so unappreciative the bar was giving out sweatbands UNTIL I casually used it during sex.
I pulled you and a keg around in a wagon for like five hours and apparently everyone else remembers it but us.
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