woke up to moans and hushed"we can't do this with him in here." hope they had a good time
Why did you take off so early
No more beer. And also. Threesome. Maybe. Ill let you know.
she broke up with me using backstreet boy lyrics
you deserved it if you knew it was backstreet boys.
Got one of only two perfect scores in the class on the quiz I took drunk. This is not a good thing for me to have learned about myself.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
My dinner guests were so drunk they never realized that I inadvertantly put Frosted Mini Wheats on the salad instead of crutons.
It took 5 minutes to find my bra.. in his car.
Pre-crushing the pills for tomorrow morning. This way I can sleep in an extra 10 minutes.
You just kept yelling, "THAT'S THE POWER OF PINESOL, BABY!"
I'm going to tattoo a maze on my back for the next fucker that tries to blow early ....
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Well besides you comparing him to your dead cat, I'd say it was fine.
No I can't cure herpes. I'm an EMT, not Jesus.
She only spoke Russian, but she was so gorgeous it didn't matter
Oh. I think she ate all the cake and took our vodka...still gorgeous.
According to him, i kept saying "I'm belligerent as SHIT" and tried to run around the house in just my bra and underwear. Thats when they decided to carry me to the car and take me home.
I'm scrolling through our convo thread and all we talk about is pizza, alcohol & dick with the occasional "I miss you" thrown in.
Happy hour crawl turned into power happy hour turned into tequila shots turned into I'm drunk in class on Cinco de Mayo at 7 am.
Randomize