grandma shit on top of the toilet
If you don't sleep with him after showing him your thong with the bow, I am no longer on your side.
should I fuck that poor girl
no dude she won't be able to afford a fucking abortion
in my defence, i did try to get you to put your shirt back on, then you screamed at me to stop telling you what to do
Can we dedicate this weekends marathon sexcapades to all the haters?
Heed the warning of the ghost of Oktoberfest present: German beer is soooooooo much better than our watered down children's piss. also lost all my clothes and am wearing lederhosen the rest of the trip.
We are not on the "bring me breakfast" level. He's bringing me penis if I ask for breakfast too I'll just sound greedy
Happiness was finding the hidden Gatorade in the fridge
Just smokin in the creek with some deer, they like the smoke, I know.
We have a vagina exchange agreement. Neither of us can hook up with any of our own law firm's summer associates. So we have a scout and referral program and invite each other to the other firm's summer events. Criss-cross!! Works every summer.
Eye drops are like seatbelts of being high. Think about it
Just had to stop myself from doing a bump on the Disney bus. The struggle is real.
There were containers of weed in the piñata. How much more Colorado does it get
R.I.P my virginity. TOD 12:37pm
He's asking how tall I am he wants to make a body suit out of me
Randomize
