if there is a rhyme for it it must be true
I got everything I ever gave her back, every picture, and money for the dog. I didn't want it she brought it all back and gave it to me. clothes jackets, pictures, dried flowers, ear rings, necklace...
Sell it on ebay and let's go to the bar
i think i would be perfectly content if, on my deathbed, i could look back on a life that didn't have any fisting in it
I just met a guy from Australia at the bar. I asked him what it was like down under and he told me if I went home with him he'd let me find out. I love Australians.
take it from a girl who woke up with a girl in her bed... you were not that drunk.
so how do you plan on seducing my econ TA?
by telling him that he has a large supply and that i demand it...in my mouth. it shows him that i'm slutty and that i pay attention in econ
Under no circumstances is it ok to do naked cartwheels in front of anyone. i don't care how much ecstasy you took
It's the only time I've ever felt manly shitting myself
Alive.
So much puke
I texted him in the morning wishing him a day as spectacular as his dick was.
He called me kiddo. We can't have sex
My loniness meter has reached its peak. I just played shadow puppets using my Big Mac on the wall with my cats
I don’t know whether to call out sick or call in drunk
aloe plants are like gummy bears with an exoskeleton, but with healing powers instead of deliciousness.
are you on the drugs???
there's fucking coffee grinds packed all inside my pipe. what did i do
Randomize
