he made me stop in the middle of the blowjob to turn the tv towrds him. i then proceeded when he stopped me again to get him the remote. fuck me.
I'm so hungover, I actually considered rolling down the stairs to avoid walking.
just found deep spiritual meaning in spongebob.... that high.
a girl is trying to cook hot pockets in a saute pan on the stove.
I found her in the bathroom licking her screwdriver off the floor. she said there was no way she was wasting a $6 drink.
I think you'll appreciae more than anyone that I'm renting my parking spot out for a half gallon of vodka a month.
You can't be mad because the taco bell people like me and not you. I'm not the one that puked in front of them.
Dude, for your own safety, do not bring that chick home. I'm pretty sure you're going to find a marsupial pouch smuggling a fresh batch of herpes under that hoodie. Bail bail bail bail bail.
Have you resumed life with the rest of the world yet or are you still huddled in the fetal position while wearing compression gear?
IF HE CAN'T EVEN MAKE EYE CONTACT IN CLASS, I DOUBT THERE WILL BE OTHER FORMS OF CONTACT ON OUR FIRST NOT-A-DATE DATE
What is a foreign vacation of stupidity without some fake names?
If there was a build-a-penis, I would build that penis.
I folded my dollar bills into mustaches in preparation for our trip to the strip club
Lol yeah. Because I just woke him up to blow him for being hot.
It was platonic naked porno viewing, I swear.
Randomize
