why is it impossible to run with a back pack without looking like a giant d-bag?
haha... you gave me a great visual of you in high white socks running with a backpack with eye of the tiger playing in the background
that only happened once.
And he just showed me his vera bradley wallet...
i told him i was sober and he walked away immediately.
You were peeing on yourself thinking it was the sprinkler in your yard
Homecoming wouldn't be the same without all the drunk old people puking on the street.
professor came back from spring break missing a tooth
Being high is an amazing excuse. I was using him for the potential of a beret, come on. I'd do that sober.
I may or may not be taking a bath listening to the Phantom of the Opera. This lovely moment brought to you by xanax.
It was weird. Like "Mom, Dad, here's a guy who knows my orgasm face".
Fucken Tweens. They smelled like cotton candy and hand jobs my nostrils were offended.
We just taught the Brazilian how to smoke out of a vuvuzela.
I feel like parents watching our children. You want to step in and help them but you just have to let them make their mistakes
sex, shower, sex, ice cream sandwiches?
Have you ever forgotten how to pee? I did last night. Standing in front of the urinal with dick in hand. WTF were we drinking???
Chasing shots with airborne.. Gonna get rid of my sickness and my soberness.
Randomize
