no weekend plans? you're practically married
just without the last name or joint bank account
i'd advise against both
Oh my god. I just envisioned myself eating panda meat. I need to get out of this class.
he's a nude model. what could you have done to make him feel awkward??
you were mad bc i took longer then 2 minutes to finish
I'm covered in salsa and facewash. I think I'm doing something wrong over here.
I just realized his fb pic was taken in a public bathroom.
You act like this is the first time I literally thought I was invisible.
Every now and then I'll meet one who is talented in the art of shower gymnast.
sometimes, you gotta take him by the hands like tails took sonic, and fly him into the bedroom.
I just really don't even know what I would do with a boyfriend... Like do I just kiss it and then leave it in the corner? Like how often does it eat??
He has a bed frame and a headboard.... That match his dresser and nightstand...
Hahah. That's good.
I feel like you don't understand the severity with which this weirds me out...
Things my liver can't take in one weekend. Surprise nights off at work and male strippers. Woke up jaundiced.
I asked him to make me two boxes of macaroni and cheese. That's like eight servings. How did I think that was an okay amount.
I can't even spell what he said he was on. And I had to call 4 people before someone had heard of it.
Would you think less of me if I said I was eating a toaster strudel in the bath.
Randomize
