So she comes up to me at the end of the night and asks me if I going to take her home and fuck her. I pretty much had to right?
you had an obligation.
He was rambling about life and dignity and happiness. but all i kept thinking was PENIS. YOU HAVE A PENIS. I CAN SHOW YOU WHERE TO PUT THAT PENIS.
I want a nosebag of coke after my exam. Like what horses have. Coked up horses. No excuses. I love you.
sarah just described his penis as "like bong-girth." I'm gunna go for it.
I fingered her though her window because she couldn't leave
Due to certain anatomical proportions it was less like fucking and more like childbirth.
Walk of shame dressed as a Christmas tree, it happened. Ho ho ho bitches
I told this guy in the dining hall that he's a hippie god and he's never made eating yogurt so sexy
my vagina is starting to think like a penis, and I'm not even slightly worried
His legs actually look hot in that dress. He might even make a better girl than Josh
Oh my god I would go to planned parenthood the same day I get my nipples pierced
I woke up this morning with 3 phone numbers, a red Chinese New Year envelope with cash in it, and a winning scratcher all stuffed in my bra. I'd say it was a pretty successful Thursday night.
Do me a favor and scream dirty things at him in a polite sexy, come hither way
Wow i just puked in front of the lady that was drug testing me. I passed though!
Just shaved my balls on a moving train. By far the most dangerous stunt I've ever pulled
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